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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You Might Be A Redneck If You

Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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Dad Redneck Might

More From Jeff Foxworthy

We should be licensing everybody with a gun. i have to have a license for my dog. i have to have a license for my car. if you’re going to do my hair later you have to have a license ... we don’t require a license to own a firearm?
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Imbecile!" the chef shouted. "next time why don't you just put your whole hand in the food, hey? yes, your whole hand, or maybe your face! i arrange the food on plates with care, are you understanding what i am telling you? it is part of the art form of cooking, yes? a lovely plate of food is a thing of beauty! and then you, numbskull, come along and put your fat greasy fingers all over my plate, and shake the plate, and move my food all around the plate until it looks like pigs' vomit!" "chef vlad!" i cried out in delight.
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There is, on the whole, nothing on earth intended for innocent people so horrible as a school. to begin with, it is a prison. but in some respects more cruel than a prison. in a prison, for instance, you are not forced to read books written by the warders and the governor. . . .in the prison you are not forced to sit listening to turnkeys discoursing without charm or interest on subjects that they don't understand and don't care about, and therefore incapable of making you understand or care about. in a prison they may torture your body; but they do not torture your brains.
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You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.
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The only big things i've purchased are my dad's heart valve and a rolls-royce for my parents, for their anniversary. and that was only because my dad had a lady gaga license plate on our old car and it was making me crazy because he was getting followed everywhere, so i bought him a new car.
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Imagine being served a plate of sushi. but this plate also holds all of the animals that were killed for your serving of sushi. the plate might have to be five feet across.
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