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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

-Groucho Marx

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The Husband Who Wants A Happy Marriage

Groucho Marx

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

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Marriage Funny Love Wedding

More From Groucho Marx

May this marriage be blessed.may this marriage be as sweet as milk and honey.may this marriage be as intoxicating as old wine.may this marriage be fruitful like a date tree.may this marriage be full of laughter and everyday a paradise.may this marriage be a seal of compassion for here and hereafter.may this marriage be as welcome as the full moon in the night sky.listen lovers, now you go on, as i become silent and kiss this blessed night.

So often, we blame other people when, really, the problem is right down in here. i'm not happy. i don't know what's wrong. if i just had another job, i could be happy. if i just get married, i would be happy. well if i just wasn't married, i would be happy. well, if i just had some kids, i'll be happy. i'll be happy when these kids finally grow up and get out of here. if i had a bigger house, i would be happy. well, i got a big house. now if i just had a maid to clean, i'd be happy. well, now if i just had a maid i could get along with better, i'd be happy.

As she left my room i knew i should shut up. but you know when you should shut up because you really should just shut up...but you keep on and on anyway? well, i had that.

I don't think there's any intrinsic difference between a lover and a husband. ... if i were cynical, i would say that a woman should have both a good husband and a lover. but i'm not cynical so i'll just say that a woman should have a lover who's a good husband and a husband who's a good lover, perhaps both.

Nothing can cost you someone you love. the only thing that can cost you your husband is if you believe a thought. that's how you move away from him. that's how the marriage ends. you are one with your husband until you believe the thought that he should look a certain way, he should give you something, he should be something other than what he is. that's how you divorce him. right then and there you have lost your marriage.

I'm running my mouth a lot and i'm looking for a guy to shut me up. if you don't shut me up, i'm going to keep running my mouth.

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