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A lot of people seem to want to make the institution of marriage substitute for a real relationship.
-Susan Faludi
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A Lot Of People Seem To Want

Susan Faludi
A lot of people seem to want to make the institution of marriage substitute for a real relationship.
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Real People Want

More From Susan Faludi

In man's life, the absence of an essential component usually leads to the adoption of a substitute. the substitute is usually embraced with vehemence and extremism, for we have to convince ourselves that what we took as second choice is the best there ever was. thus blind faith is to a considerable extent a substitute for the lost faith in ourselves; insatiable desire a substitute for hope; accumulation a substitute for growth; fervent hustling a substitute for purposeful action; and pride a substitute for an unattainable self-respect.
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But your book is wrong, mrs. strunk, says george, when it tells you that jim is the substitute i found for a real son, a real kid brother, a real husband, a real wife. jim wasn't a substitute for anything. and there is no substitute for jim, if you'll forgive my saying so, anywhere.
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May this marriage be blessed.may this marriage be as sweet as milk and honey.may this marriage be as intoxicating as old wine.may this marriage be fruitful like a date tree.may this marriage be full of laughter and everyday a paradise.may this marriage be a seal of compassion for here and hereafter.may this marriage be as welcome as the full moon in the night sky.listen lovers, now you go on, as i become silent and kiss this blessed night.
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For love of domination we must substitute equality; for love of victory we must substitute justice; for brutality we must substitute intelligence; for competition we must substitute cooperation. we must learn to think of the human race as one family.
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Your ancestors fought for you to have a share in that institution over there. it's yours. see the school board, and every friday night hold your meetings there. have your wives clean it up saturday morning for the children to enter monday. your organization is not a praying institution. it's a fighting institution. it's an educational institution along industrial lines. pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living!
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The problem of unmet expectations in marriage is primarily a problem of stereotyping. each and every human being on this planet is a unique person. since marriage is inevitably a relationship between two unique people, no one marriage is going to be exactly like any other. yet we tend to wed with explicit visions of what a “good” marriage ought to be like. then we suffer enormously from trying to force the relationship to fit the stereotype and from the neurotic guilt and anger we experience when we fail to pull it off.
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