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List of Paula Poundstone Quotes

Explore our hand-picked selection of 75 inspiring quotes by Paula Poundstone.

About Paula Poundstone

  • Born: December 29, 1959
  • Occupation: Comedian
    • I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out.
    Kids Two Work Out
    The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. i wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage.
    Together Care Garbage
    I was the youngest in my family. when the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so i was sort of babysat by television.
    Mother School Kids
    I get the first flight out from anywhere i am because i have to come home to my kids.
    Home Kids Firsts
    I have a horrible memory and i used to consider that a liability, but i've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.
    Beautiful Memories Talking
    I mean, i do love clever and witty, but i think that the 'three stooges' were geniuses. they'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.
    Witty Clever Mean
    I used to watch 'the waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. we had a cruel sense of humor in my family.
    Watches Sense Of Humor My Family
    My act is sort of improvisational. i have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.
    Skeletons Skins Fats
    I also like a great caesar salad with anchovies, although i don't know why some places say 'with anchovies.' if you're making a proper caesar salad, it's going to have anchovies.
    Salad Caesar Salad Ifs
    I did auditions at a club called the comedy connection. they wanted nothing to do with me. but one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.
    Night Connections Clubs
    I have jokes i've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd.
    Night Talking Crowds
    I can make things, but i don't cook them, exactly. like salmon, i can stick that in a pan. or the other day i made noodles, but they were hard. it never occurred to me to check them; i just stopped cooking them when i felt they were ready. really, i'm too absentminded.
    Cooking Noodles Sticks
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