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When one of my japanese teacups is broken, i imagine that the real cause was not the careless hand of a maid but the anxieties of the figures inhabiting the curves of that porcelain. their grim decision to commit suicide doesn't shock me: they used the maid as one of us might use a gun.
-Fernando Pessoa
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When One Of My Japanese Teacups Is

Fernando Pessoa
When one of my japanese teacups is broken, i imagine that the real cause was not the careless hand of a maid but the anxieties of the figures inhabiting the curves of that porcelain. their grim decision to commit suicide doesn't shock me: they used the maid as one of us might use a gun.
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Suicide Real Gun

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Do you think it interests me that this painting represents two figures? these two figures existed, they exist no more. the sight of them gave me an initial emotion, little by little their real presence grew indistinct they became a fiction for me, then they disappeared, or rather, were turned into problems of all kinds. for me they are no longer two figures but shapes and colours, don't misunderstand me, shapes and colours, though, that sum up the idea of the two figures and preserve the vibration of their existence.
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There is a time in our lives, usually in mid-life, when a woman has to make a decision - possibly the most important psychic decision of her future life - and that is, whether to be bitter or not. women often come to this in their late thirties or early forties. they are at the point where they are full up to their ears with everything and they've "had it" and "the last straw has broken the camel's back" and they're "pissed off and pooped out." their dreams of their twenties may be lying in a crumple. there may be broken hearts, broken marriages, broken promises.
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They all think any minute i'm going to commit suicide. what a joke. the truth of course is the exact opposite: suicide is the only thing that keeps me alive. whenever everything else fails, all i have to do is consider suicide and in two seconds i'm as cheerful as a nitwit. but if i could not kill myself -- ah then, i would. i can do without nembutal or murder mysteries but not without suicide.
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Give me the gun." ranger said. i extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. "it's warm," he said. he put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. am i fired?" no. any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.
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