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What is your major malfunction?
-R. Lee Ermey
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What Is Your Major Malfunction?

R. Lee Ermey
What is your major malfunction?
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Malfunction Majors

More From R. Lee Ermey

I'm even stunned at some of the majors you can get in college these days. like you can major in the mating habits of the australian rabbit bat, major in leisure studies... okay, get a journalism major. okay, education major, journalism major. right. philosophy major, right. archeology major. i don't know, whatever it is. major in ballroom dance, of course. it doesn't replace work. how about a major in film studies? how about a major in black studies? how about a major in women studies? how about a major in home ec? oops, sorry! no such thing.
Sorry Philosophy Home
I went to oberlin college, and they don't have a film major, but they do have what's called an individual major, where you can sort of pitch to a committee your own course study, and if they approve it, you have essentially just designed your own major. so oberlin doesn't have a film major; they do have a film minor... and then my spring semester of my junior year, i went off to nyu film school as a visiting student - they have a program for kids from other schools to come in for a semester.
Spring School Kids
Yes, if you want to say that i was a drum major, say that i was a drum major for justice. say that i was a drum major for peace. i was a drum major for righteousness. and all of the other shallow things will not matter. i won't have any money to leave behind. i won't have the fine and luxurious things of life to leave behind. but i just want to leave a committed life behind. and that's all i want to say.
Justice Want Matter
Lingerie is one of the most important pieces of your wardrobe. you can have a wardrobe malfunction if you dont choose the right thing to wear underneath!
Important Pieces Lingerie
There will be no wardrobe malfunction with me. i can promise you that.... i have nothing i will be exposing or taking off.
Promise Malfunction Wardrobe
The other thing that troubled me: dad was clutching his workbag. usually when he does that, it means we're in danger. like the time gunmen stormed into our hotel in cairo. i heard shots coming from the lobby and ran downstairs to check on my dad. by the time i got there, he was just calmly zipping up his workbag while three unconscious gunmen hung by their feet from the chandelier, their robes falling over their heads so you could see their boxer shorts. dad claimed not to have witnessed anything, and in the end the police blamed a freak chandelier malfunction.
Dad Fall Mean
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