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We feel properly embarrassed when we are caught doing something that makes us look inept, knuckleheaded, or inappropriate. maybe the difference is this: we feel embarrassed because we look bad, and we feel shame because we think we are bad. when we are embarrassed, we feel socially foolish. when we are shamed, we feel morally unworthy.

-Lewis B. Smedes

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We Feel Properly Embarrassed When We Are

Lewis B. Smedes

We feel properly embarrassed when we are caught doing something that makes us look inept, knuckleheaded, or inappropriate. maybe the difference is this: we feel embarrassed because we look bad, and we feel shame because we think we are bad. when we are embarrassed, we feel socially foolish. when we are shamed, we feel morally unworthy.

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    <p style="font-size: 1.2rem; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 10px;">"we feel properly embarrassed when we are caught doing something that makes us look inept, knuckleheaded, or inappropriate. maybe the difference is this: we feel embarrassed because we look bad, and we feel shame because we think we are bad. when we are embarrassed, we feel socially foolish. when we are shamed, we feel morally unworthy."</p>
    <footer style="font-size: 1rem; font-weight: bold;">— Lewis B. Smedes</footer>
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Thinking Differences Looks

More From Lewis B. Smedes

If people are failing, they look inept. if people are succeeding, they look strong and good and competent. that's the 'halo effect.' your first impression of a thing sets up your subsequent beliefs. if the company looks inept to you, you may assume everything else they do is inept.

The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in theory. we feel guilty for what we do. we feel shame for what we are. a person feels guilt because he did something wrong. a person feels shame because he is something wrong. we may feel guilty because we lied to our mother. we may feel shame because we are not the person our mother wanted us to be.

We proclaim human intelligence to be morally valuable per se because we are human. if we were birds, we would proclaim the ability to fly as morally valuable per se. if we were fish, we would proclaim the ability to live underwater as morally valuable per se. but apart from our obviously self-interested proclamations, there is nothing morally valuable per se about human intelligence.

We should never present flesh as somehow morally distinguishable from dairy. to the extent it is morally wrong to eat flesh, it is as morally wrong - and possibly more morally wrong - to consume dairy

Maybe it’s my own fault. maybe i led you to believe it was easy when it wasn’t. maybe i made you think my highlights started at the free throw line, and not in the gym. maybe i made you think that every shot i took was a game winner. that my game was built on flash, and not fire. maybe it’s my fault that you didn’t see that failure gave me strength; that my pain was my motivation. maybe i led you to believe that basketball was a god given gift, and not something i worked for every single day of my life. maybe i destroyed the game. or maybe you’re just making excuses.

Bureaucracy destroys initiative. there is little that bureaucrats hate more than innovation, especially innovation that produces better results than the old routines. improvements always make those at the top of the heap look inept. who enjoys appearing inept?

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His embarassment would have pleased me, but once he recovered, there would be that awkward period that sometimes culminates in a handshake. i didn't want to touch these people's hands or see things from their point of view, i just wanted to continue hating them. so i kept my mouth shut and stared off into space.

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