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Sometimes i'm real cool, but sometimes i could be a real asshole. i think everyone is like that.
-Eminem
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Sometimes I'm Real Cool, But Sometimes I

Eminem
Sometimes i'm real cool, but sometimes i could be a real asshole. i think everyone is like that.
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Funny Real Thinking

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Cool is spent. cool is empty. cool is ex post facto. when advertisers and pundits hoard a word, you know it's time to retire from it. to move on. i want to suggest, therefore, that we begin to avoid cool now. cool is a trick to get you to buy garments made by sweatshop laborers in third world countries. cool is the triumph of the will. cool enables you to step over bodies. cool enables you to look the other way. cool makes you functional, eager for routine distraction, passive, doped, stupid.
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I mean, i'm always happy if i have, like, humiliating asshole things that i did. i think: oh good, that's a good story. because if you write about humiliating asshole things other people do it doesn't work as well. i mean, you can, but you can get away with it better if you talk about what an asshole you are. it's much easier.
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When you talk like an asshole and look like an asshole, you're an asshole
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Awkwardness gives me great comfort. i've never been cool, but i've felt cool. i've been in the cool place, but i wasn't really cool - i was trying to pass for hip or cool. it's the awkwardness that's nice.
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I didn't get fired." "you didn't punch your boss and get fired from the tribune? that's what i heard." "i punched what could loosely be called a colleague for cribbing my notes on a story and since the editor–who happened to be the asshole's uncle–took his word over mine, i quit." "to write books. is it fun?" "i guess it is." "i bet you killed the asshole in the first one you wrote." "you'd be right. beat him to death with a shovel. very satisfying.
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X-pac, i always thought you were a greasy haired, cheesey bandana wearing asshole that wore green and black tights. i now think you are a greasy haired, cheesey bandana wearing asshole that wears purple and black tights.
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