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Since my daughter is only half-jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
-Groucho Marx
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Since My Daughter Is Only Half-jewish, Could

Groucho Marx
Since my daughter is only half-jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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Funny Daughter Humor

More From Groucho Marx

You're beautiful, but you're empty...one couldn't die for you. of course, an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. but my rose, all on her own, is more important than all of you together, since she's the one i've watered. since she's the one i put under glass, since she's the one i sheltered behind the screen. since she's the one for whom i killed the caterpillars (except the two or three butterflies). since she's the one i listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all. since she's my rose.
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And she loved a man who was made out of nothing. a few hours without him and right away she’d be missing him with her whole body, sitting in her office surrounded by polyethylene and concrete and thinking of him. and every time she’d boil water for coffee in her ground-floor office, she’d let the steam cover her face, imagining it was him stroking her cheeks, her eyelids and she’d wait for the day to be over, so she could go to her apartment building, climb the flight of stairs, turn the key in the door, and find him waiting for her, naked and still between the sheets of her empty bed.
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Suddenly she felt strong and happy. she was not afraid of the darkness or the fog and she knew with a singing in her heart that she would never fear them again. no matter what mists might curl around her in the future, she knew her refuge. she started briskly up the street toward home and the blocks seemed very long. far, far too long. she caught up her skirts to her knees and began to run lightly. but this time she was not running from fear. she was running because rhett's arms were at the end of the street.
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If only one country, for whatever reason, tolerates a jewish family in it, that family will become the germ center for fresh sedition. if one little jewish boy survives without any jewish education, with no synagogue and no hebrew school, it [judaism] is in his soul. even if there had never been a synagogue or a jewish school or an old testament, the jewish spirit would still exist and exert its influence. it has been there from the beginning and there is no jew, not a single one, who does not personify it.
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Eventually she came. she appeared suddenly, exactly like she'd done that day- she stepped into the sunshine, she jumped, she laughed and threw her head back, so her long ponytail nearly grazed the waistband of her jeans. after that, i couldn't think about anything else. the mole on the inside of her right elbow, like a dark blot of ink. the way she ripped her nails to shreds when she was nervous. her eyes, deep as a promise. her stomach, pale and soft and gorgeous, and the tiny dark cavity of her belly button. i nearly went crazy.
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I strongly believe that a small jewish clique which has contempt for the mass of jewish people worked with non-jews to create the first world war, the russian revolution, and the second world war. this jewish/non-jewish elite used the first world war to secure the balfour declaration and the principle of the jewish state of israel.
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