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Mostly getting old is boring. i hate the stiffness in the bones. i was physically arrogant for years. i don't like it now that i have difficulty getting around. but a certain equanimity sets in, a certain detachment. things seem less desperately important than they once did, and that's a pleasure.
-Doris Lessing
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Mostly Getting Old Is Boring. I Hate

Doris Lessing
Mostly getting old is boring. i hate the stiffness in the bones. i was physically arrogant for years. i don't like it now that i have difficulty getting around. but a certain equanimity sets in, a certain detachment. things seem less desperately important than they once did, and that's a pleasure.
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Hate Years Important

More From Doris Lessing

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. i hate the way you drive my car. i hate it when you stare. i hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. i hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. i hate it, i hate the way you're always right. i hate it when you lie. i hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. i hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. but mostly i hate the way i don't hate you. not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
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The left's propulsion is hate, and they have to have an outlet for the hate. they hate so much. they hate many elements of america. they hate people that don't think the way they do. it's not just that they disagree, they hate, and this energy requires action. people on the right, they don't hate anybody. we want everybody to get along, when you get right down to it. we're rodney king types, actually.
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We stand there, quiet. my questions all seem wrong: how did you get so old? was it all at once, in a day, or did you peter out bit by bit? when did you stop having parties? did everyone else get old too, or was it just you? are other people still here, hiding in the palm trees or holding their breath underwater? when did you last swim your laps? do your bones hurt? did you know this was coming and hide that you knew, or did it ambush you from behind?
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It is pleasure that lurks in the practice of every one of your virtues. man performs actions because they are good for him, and when they are good for other people as well they are thought virtuous: if he finds pleasure in helping others he is benevolent; if he finds pleasure in working for society he is public-spirited; but it is for your private pleasure that you give twopence to a beggar as much as it is for my private pleasure that i drink another whiskey and soda. i, less of a humbug than you, neither applaud myself for my pleasure nor demand your admiration.
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When you are born without the ordinary feelings and emotions shared by most other human beings, life looks different to you. it seems at times like a movie you’re walking through, more a spectator than a participant. there is above all a lack of empathy with most of mankind, a sense of detachment. but with detachment comes perspective. the less you care, the more you know, and the more you know the less you care.
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Just because you’ve only been alive for fifteen years doesn’t mean you’re less anything except old. that’s all it means. it doesn’t mean you’re less experienced. it doesn’t mean you’re less intelligent. it doesn’t mean you’re less sensitive. it doesn’t mean you take things less seriously. it’s like, these are younger human beings, meaning don’t, because they’re only ten, start thinking that they don’t know what you’re talking about -because they do. don’t leave people out in the cold, and don’t talk down to people -don’t. it never works out.
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