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Marriage is an ongoing, centuries-long social experiment that is mostly controlled by the individuals in the relationships who insist on determining what the relationship terms are going to be. and that's why the terms of marriage change with every century and decade. we're shaping it from the inside. marriage endures because it evolves. obviously it does. none of us would accept marriage on its 13th century terms, not even the most conservative people...
-Elizabeth Gilbert
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Marriage Is An Ongoing, Centuries-long Social Experiment

Elizabeth Gilbert
Marriage is an ongoing, centuries-long social experiment that is mostly controlled by the individuals in the relationships who insist on determining what the relationship terms are going to be. and that's why the terms of marriage change with every century and decade. we're shaping it from the inside. marriage endures because it evolves. obviously it does. none of us would accept marriage on its 13th century terms, not even the most conservative people...
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Given that the nineteenth century was the century of socialism, of liberalism, and of democracy, it does not necessarily follow that the twentieth century must also be a century of socialism, liberalism and democracy: political doctrines pass, but humanity remains, and it may rather be expected that this will be a century of authority ... a century of fascism. for if the nineteenth century was a century of individualism it may be expected that this will be the century of collectivism and hence the century of the state.
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The silly putty-like malleability of the institution [marriage], in fact, is the only reason we still have the thing at all. very few people... would accept marriage on it's thirteenth-century terms. marriage survives, in other words, precisely because it evolves. (though i suppose this would not be a very persuasive argument to those who probably also don't believe in evolution).
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The statement i made in regard to, "will can do whatever he wants," has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist...should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and love...for us??? here is how i will change my statement...will and i both can do whatever we want, because we trust each other to do so. this does not mean we have an open relationship...this means we have a grown one.
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