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In deep confusion, in great despair, when i reach out for him, he is there. when i am lonely as i can be, then i know god shines his light on me.
-Van Morrison
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In Deep Confusion, In Great Despair, When

Van Morrison
In deep confusion, in great despair, when i reach out for him, he is there. when i am lonely as i can be, then i know god shines his light on me.
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Religious Lonely Light

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Compared with the person who is conscious of his despair, the despairing individual who is ignorant of his despair is simply a negativity further away from the truth and deliverance. . . . yet ignorance is so far from breaking the despair or changing despair to nondespairing that it can in fact be the most dangerous form of despair. . . . an individual is furthest from being conscious of himself as spirit when he is ignorant of being in despair. but precisely this-not to be conscious of oneself as spirit-is despair, which is spiritlessness. . . .
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An individual in despair despairs over something. . . . in despairing over something, he really despair[s] over himself, and now he wants to get rid of himself. consequently, to despair over something is still not despair proper. . . . to despair over oneself, in despair to will to be rid of oneself-this is the formula for all despair.
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Greek architecture taught me that the column is where the light is not, and the space between is where the light is. it is a matter of no-light, light, no-light, light. a column and a column brings light between them. to make a column which grows out of the wall and which makes its own rhythm of no-light, light, no-light, light: that is the marvel of the artist.
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The ever increasing intensity of despair depends upon the degree of consciousness or is proportionate to this increase: the greater the degree of consciousness, the more intensive the despair. this is everywhere apparent, most clearly in despair at its maximum and minimum. the devil's despair is the most intensive despair, for the devil is sheer spirit and hence unqualified consciousness and transparency; there is no obscurity in the devil that could serve as a mitigating excuse. therefore, his despair is the most absolute defiance. . . .
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It's despair at the lack of feeling, of love, of reason in the world. it's despair that anyone can even contemplate the idea of dropping a bomb or ordering that it should be dropped. it's despair that so few of us care. it's despair that there's so much brutality and callousness in the world. it's despair that perfectly normal young men can be made vicious and evil because they've won a lot of money. and then do what you've done to me.
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Sin is: before god, or with the conception of god, in despair not to will to be oneself, or in despair to will to be oneself. thus sin is intensified weakness or intensified defiance: sin is the intensification of despair. the emphasis is on before god, or with a conception of god; it is the conception of god that makes sin dialectically, ethically, and religiously what lawyers call 'aggravated' despair.
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