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If you owe fifty dollars you're a piker; if you owe fifty thousand dollars you're a businessman; if you owe fifty million dollars you're a tycoon; if you owe fifty billion dollars you're the government.
-Sam Levenson
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If You Owe Fifty Dollars You're A

Sam Levenson
If you owe fifty dollars you're a piker; if you owe fifty thousand dollars you're a businessman; if you owe fifty million dollars you're a tycoon; if you owe fifty billion dollars you're the government.
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Government Fifty Dollars

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I never said it. honest. oh, i said there are maybe 100 billion galaxies and 10 billion trillion stars. it's hard to talk about the cosmos without using big numbers. i said "billion" many times on the cosmos television series, which was seen by a great many people. but i never said "billions and billions." for one thing, it's too imprecise. how many billions are "billions and billions"? a few billion? twenty billion? a hundred billion? "billions and billions" is pretty vague. when we reconfigured and updated the series, i checked-and sure enough, i never said it.
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Yet another hedge fund manager explained icelandic banking to me this way: you have a dog, and i have a cat. we agree that each is worth a billion dollars. you sell me the dog for a billion, and i sell you the cat for a billion. now we are no longer pet owners but icelandic banks, with a billion dollars in new assets.
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Well, congress gave us a billion dollars to dig the hole, this gigantic hole. bigger, much bigger than the hole in geneva, switzerland. then they canceled the machine and gave us a second billion dollars to fill up the hole. two billion dollars to dig a hole and fill it up. that is the wisdom of the united states congress and it really makes you wonder: is there intelligent life on the earth? certainly not in the united states congress.
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There’s no way that michael jackson or whoever jackson should have a million thousand droople billion dollars and then there’s people starving. there’s no way! there’s no way that these people should own planes and there people don’t have houses. apartments. shacks. drawers. pants! i know you’re rich. i know you got 40 billion dollars, but can you just keep it to one house? you only need one house. and if you only got two kids, can you just keep it to two rooms? i mean why have 52 rooms and you know there’s somebody with no room?! it just don’t make sense to me. it don’t.
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We are for aiding our allies by sharing of our material blessings with those nations which share in our fundamental beliefs, but we're against doling out money government to government, creating bureaucracy, if not socialism, all over the world. we set out to help 19 countries. we're helping 107. we've spent 146 billion dollars. with that money, we bought a 2 million dollar yacht for haile selassie. we bought dress suits for greek undertakers, extra wives for kenya[n] government officials. we bought a thousand tv sets for a place where they have no electricity.
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