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I wanted to be the next dana carvey. this was my ultimate goal. if i ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, i would wish to be on 'saturday night live.' if i threw a coin into a fountain, i would wish to be on 'saturday night live.' if i saw a shooting star, i would wish to be on 'saturday night live.'
-Jimmy Fallon
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I Wanted To Be The Next Dana

Jimmy Fallon
I wanted to be the next dana carvey. this was my ultimate goal. if i ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, i would wish to be on 'saturday night live.' if i threw a coin into a fountain, i would wish to be on 'saturday night live.' if i saw a shooting star, i would wish to be on 'saturday night live.'
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Stars Cutting Night

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We all know of course, that we should never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever fiddle around in any way with electrical equipment. never.
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Once committed to fight, cut. everything else is secondary. cut. that is your duty, your purpose, your hunger. there is no rule more important, no commitment that overrides that one. cut. cut from the void, not from bewilderment. cut the enemy as quickly and directly as possible. cut decisively, resolutely. cut into the enemy’s strength. flow through the gaps in his guard. cut him. cut him down utterly. don’t allow him a breath. crush him. cut him without mercy to the depths of his spirit." -richard rahl
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Me and conan o'brien and robert smigel and dana carvey wrote a script called 'hans and franz: the girlyman dilemma,' and it was going to be co-produced with arnold schwarzenegger, and he was going to co-star in it. we had a deal with sony, we got paid to write it, and it was a musical, but it never got made because...i think arnold kind of backed out at the last minute because he was getting cold feet because ;the last action hero' had come out, where he was parodying himself. but it was a really funny script, and i wish it could've seen the light, because i think it would've done really well.
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People associate long hair with drug use. i wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. and then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "that guy eats cake!" "he is on bundt cake!" mothers saying to their daughters, "don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. he smells like flour. did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?"
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There was an assumption that i was personally attacking sarah palin by impersonating her on tv. no one ever said it was 'mean' when chevy chase played gerald ford falling down all the time. no one ever accused dana carvey or darrell hammond or dan aykroyd of 'going too far' in their political impressions. you see what i'm getting at here. i am not mean and mrs. palin is not fragile. to imply otherwise is a disservice to us both.
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If you cannot always elicit a straight answer from the unconscious brain, how can you access its knowledge? sometimes the trick is merely to probe what your gut is telling you. so the next time a friend laments that she cannot decide between two options, tell her the easiest way to solve her problem: flip a coin. she should specify which option belongs to heads and which to tails, and then let the coin fly. the important part is to assess her gut feeling after the coin lands. if she feels a subtle sense of relief at being "told" what to do by the coin, that's the right choice for her.
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