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I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. they don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. because i wanted to clean it, but now i have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips.

-Mitch Hedberg

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I Have A Cheese-shredder At Home, Which

Mitch Hedberg

I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. they don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. because i wanted to clean it, but now i have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips.

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    <p style="font-size: 1.2rem; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 10px;">"i have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. they don&#039;t call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. because i wanted to clean it, but now i have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips."</p>
    <footer style="font-size: 1rem; font-weight: bold;">— Mitch Hedberg</footer>
    <p style="margin-top: 15px; font-size: 0.85rem;"><a href="https://www.pjdigitalmarketing.com/quote/i-have-a-cheese-shredder-at-home-which-is-its-positive-name-they-knjsf" style="color: #8b5cf6; text-decoration: none;">View this quote on Www.pjdigitalmarketing.com</a></p>
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Topic

Funny Home Humor

More From Mitch Hedberg

I like cottage cheese. that's why i want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. how about studio apartment cheese? tent cheese? mobile home cheese? do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.

I used to live with two other guys. we used to cook two things. the first one was called 'cheese... thing' and that was where you get something and you melt cheese over it and the first one to guess what it is doesn't have to wash up. that's obviously quite mediterranean; the other one was less complex. it was just called 'cheese fantasy.' that's where you come in, very drunk, at about five in the morning and find an apple and just pretend there's some cheese on it.

Swiss cheese is the only cheese you can draw and people can identify. you can draw american cheese, but someone will think it's cheddar. it's the only cheese you can bite and miss. "hey mitch - does that sandwich have cheese on it?" "every now and then!"

Wouldn't the sentence 'i want to put a hyphen between the words fish and and and and and chips in my fish-and-chips sign' have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before fish, and between fish and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and chips, as well as after chips?

We walked on the beach, fed blue corn ships to the seagulls, and munched on blue jelly beans, blue saltwater taffy and all the other free samples my mom brought home from work. i guess i should explain the blue food. see, gabe had once told my mom there was no such thing. they had this fight, which seemed like a really small thing at the time. but ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue. she baked blue birthday cakes. she mixed blueberry smoothies. she bought blue-corn tortilla chips and brought home blue candy from the shop.

I was on a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and i had a box of crackers and a can of easy cheese. it was dark, and it was a surprise how much cheese i had applied on each cracker. that's why they should have a glow-in-the-dark version of easy cheese. it's not like the product has any integrity to begin with. if you buy a room-temperature cheese that you squeeze out of a can, you probably won't get mad because it glows in the dark too.

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