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I felt a momentary urge to leap into the sea and swim free of the present.
-Meg Rosoff
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I Felt A Momentary Urge To Leap

Meg Rosoff
I felt a momentary urge to leap into the sea and swim free of the present.
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Sea Swim Leap

More From Meg Rosoff

[...] i suppose this was the first time i had ever felt an urge not to be. never an urge to die, far less an urge to put an end to myself - simply an urge not to be. this disgusting, hostile and unlovely world was not made for me, nor i for it. it was alien to me and i to it.
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The sea of galilee and the dead sea are made of the same water. it flows down, clean and cool, from the heights of herman and the roots of the cedars of lebanon. the sea of galilee makes beauty of it, the sea of galilee has an outlet. it gets to give. it gathers in its riches that it may pour them out again to fertilize the jordan plain. but the dead sea with the same water makes horror. for the dead sea has no outlet. it gets to keep.
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There is yet another illusion, that it is important to be respectable, to be loved and appreciated, to be important. many say we have a natural urge to be loved and appreciated, to belong. that’s false. drop this illusion and you will find happiness. we have a natural urge to be free, a natural urge to love, but not to be loved.
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I stare at her chest. as she breathes, the rounded peaks move up and down like the swell of waves, somehow reminding me of rain falling softly on a broad stretch of sea. i'm the lonely voyager standing on deck, and she's the sea. the sky is a blanket of gray, merging with the gray sea off on the horizon. it's hard to tell the difference between sea and sky. between voyager and sea. between reality and the workings of the heart.
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For my father the one calamity was that my brother and sister and i never learned to swim. my father, who was very macho, was a strong swimmer and was terribly disappointed to have children who didn't swim. once when my mother was sitting in a beach chair - i can still see the big umbrella - she called to my father, "throw them in! throw them in! they'll swim!" so he did. then he looked down, and there were the three sendak children lying perfectly still underwater, not fighting for life!
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When i was a boy, i dreamt that i could fly, he announces. when i woke, i couldn't... or so the maester said. but what if he lied? what do you mean? perhaps we can fly. all of us. how will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower? no man ever truly knows what he can do unless he dares to leap. there is the window. leap. what do you want? the world.
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