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Have a great day. note: does not apply to my enemies.
-Demetri Martin
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Have A Great Day. Note: Does Not

Demetri Martin
Have a great day. note: does not apply to my enemies.
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Have A Great Day Enemy Doe

More From Demetri Martin

For a second we just stand there in silence. then, suddenly, alex is back, easy and smiling again. “i left a note for you one time. in the governor’s fist, you know?” i left a note for you one time. it’s impossible, too crazy to think about, and i hear myself repeating, “you left a note for me?” “i’m pretty sure it said something stupid. just hi, and a smiley face, and my name. but then you stopped coming.” he shrugs. “it’s probably still there. the note, i mean. probably just a bit of paper pulp by now.
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They say that when god was in jerusalem he forgave his murderers, but now he will not forgive an honest man for differing with him on the subject of the trinity. they say that god says to me, "forgive your enemies." i say, "i do;" but he says, "i will damn mine." god should be consistent. if he wants me to forgive my enemies he should forgive his. i am asked to forgive enemies who can hurt me. god is only asked to forgive enemies who cannot hurt him. he certainly ought to be as generous as he asks us to be.
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Hamas is isis, and isis is hamas. they're branches of the same tree. people who wantonly rocket our cities and want to conduct mass killings. and when they can, they murder children, teenagers, shoot them in the head. throw people from the sixth floor, their own people. ... they're the enemies of peace, they're the enemies of israel, they're the enemies of all civilized countries. and i believe they're the enemies of the palestinians themselves.
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If i have to hold a note for a long time, i imagine it as moving and spinning, for the note has to have life. in a way, a singer actually refreshes a note with every beat that it's held.
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The institutions that we've built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don't apply to the private sector. the fourth amendment doesn't apply to corporations. the freedom of information act doesn't apply to silicon valley. and you can't impeach google if it breaks its 'don't be evil' campaign pledge.
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You need particular note or rhythm in the symphony to be that minor key, or that sharp key or major chord. in musical terms, i try to hit the right note. but not alter the score of the music, just emphasize the note correctly.
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