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Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at christmas. save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.
-P. J. O'Rourke
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Don't Send Funny Greeting Cards On Birthdays

P. J. O'Rourke
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at christmas. save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.
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Birthday Funeral Cards

More From P. J. O'Rourke

I'm not offended. lenny bruce taught me that everything's funny. you can make everything funny. i don't think that assassinations are funny, i don't think you can make fun of isis, but almost everything is funny. and if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? so i don't mind ethnic humor. i like ethnic humor. i like dialect jokes. laughter is a very subjective thing. if it's funny to you it's funny. and a lot of things are funny to me.
Laughter Fun Thinking
My paramount object in this struggle is to save the union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. if i could save the union without freeing any slave i would do it, and if i could save it by freeing all the slaves i would do it; and if i could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone i would also do that. what i do about slavery, and the colored race, i do because i believe it helps to save the union; and what i forbear, i forbear because i do not believe it would help to save the union.
War Believe Struggle
The problem is that we live in an uptight country. why don't we just laugh at ourselves? we are funny. gays are funny. straights are funny. women are funny. men are funny. we are all funny, and we all do funny things. let's laugh about it.
Country Laughter Gay
At the heart of every really good christmas movie is the threat, i suppose, to christmas. something is wrong with christmas, in all of these movies. in 'the polar express,' there's a kid that doesn't really believe, and that's the threat to christmas. in 'santa claus: the movie,' jealousy and greed are threatening to overrun his christmas.
Believe Kids Heart
Top trumps appeared to be a game in which you got cards, and the cards had a picture (in this case, of a horse), and told you all kinds of stats for that horse, how fast it was, how big it was, etc. whoever had the better horse won both the cards. you repeated this until someone had all the cards. so, basically it was exactly like high school, except it only took three minutes. which was really a bit more humane, if you thought about it.
Horse School Games
Someone trying to be funny probably isn't as funny as someone who doesn't want to be funny but is and can't help it. someone being serious or angry might be funny. if you get angry, the first thing i want to do is laugh because i don't know why you're getting that angry. pathos makes me laugh, funerals make me laugh.
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I asked the head musician if i could go onstage during the next break and he said sure. i got two laughs in twenty minutes, and walked out feeling more elated than i had ever felt in my entire life. the glory of that triumph contented me for two full years.
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