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And now i wish i hadn’t been civil, because he says he shall not despair! he is as stupid as endymion!” “no, no!” said alverstoke soothingly. “nobody could be as stupid as endymion!
-Georgette Heyer
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And Now I Wish I Hadn’t Been

Georgette Heyer
And now i wish i hadn’t been civil, because he says he shall not despair! he is as stupid as endymion!” “no, no!” said alverstoke soothingly. “nobody could be as stupid as endymion!
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Topic
Stupid Wish Despair

More From Georgette Heyer

An individual in despair despairs over something. . . . in despairing over something, he really despair[s] over himself, and now he wants to get rid of himself. consequently, to despair over something is still not despair proper. . . . to despair over oneself, in despair to will to be rid of oneself-this is the formula for all despair.
Individuality Despair Want
Compared with the person who is conscious of his despair, the despairing individual who is ignorant of his despair is simply a negativity further away from the truth and deliverance. . . . yet ignorance is so far from breaking the despair or changing despair to nondespairing that it can in fact be the most dangerous form of despair. . . . an individual is furthest from being conscious of himself as spirit when he is ignorant of being in despair. but precisely this-not to be conscious of oneself as spirit-is despair, which is spiritlessness. . . .
Ignorance Negativity Individuality
The ever increasing intensity of despair depends upon the degree of consciousness or is proportionate to this increase: the greater the degree of consciousness, the more intensive the despair. this is everywhere apparent, most clearly in despair at its maximum and minimum. the devil's despair is the most intensive despair, for the devil is sheer spirit and hence unqualified consciousness and transparency; there is no obscurity in the devil that could serve as a mitigating excuse. therefore, his despair is the most absolute defiance. . . .
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It's despair at the lack of feeling, of love, of reason in the world. it's despair that anyone can even contemplate the idea of dropping a bomb or ordering that it should be dropped. it's despair that so few of us care. it's despair that there's so much brutality and callousness in the world. it's despair that perfectly normal young men can be made vicious and evil because they've won a lot of money. and then do what you've done to me.
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What is courage? this courage will not be the opposite of despair. we shall often be faced with despair, as indeed every sensitive person has been during the last several decades in this country. hence kierkegaard and nietzsche and camus and sartre have proclaimed that courage is not the absence of despair; it is, rather, the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair.
Country Courage Moving
Do you have a wish?' he asked, referring to this organization, the genie foundation, which is in the business of granting sick kids one wish. 'no' i said. 'i used my wish pre-miracle.' 'what'd you do?' i sighed loudly. 'i was thirteen,' i said. 'not disney,' he said. i said nothing. 'you did not go to disney world.' i said nothing. 'hazel grace!' he shouted. 'you did not use your one dying wish to go to disney world with your parents.' 'also epcot center,' i mumbled. 'oh, my god,' augustus said. 'i can't believe i had a crush on a girl with such cliché wishes.
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