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After spending most of her life scanning the horizon for slights and threats, genuine and imagined, she knew the real threat to her happiness came not from the dot in the distance, but from looking for it. expecting it. waiting for it. and in some cases, creating it. her father had jokingly accused her of living in the wreckage of her future. until one day she'd looked deep into his eyes and saw he wasn't joking. he was warning her.
-Louise Penny
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After Spending Most Of Her Life Scanning

Louise Penny
After spending most of her life scanning the horizon for slights and threats, genuine and imagined, she knew the real threat to her happiness came not from the dot in the distance, but from looking for it. expecting it. waiting for it. and in some cases, creating it. her father had jokingly accused her of living in the wreckage of her future. until one day she'd looked deep into his eyes and saw he wasn't joking. he was warning her.
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Life Distance Father

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I would ... go up to the mailbox and sit in the grass, waiting. ... till it came to me one day there were women doing this with their lives, all over. there were women just waiting and waiting by mailboxes for one letter or another. i imagined me making this journey day after day and year after year, and my hair starting to go gray, and i thought, i was never made to go on like that. ... if there were woman all through life waiting, and women busy and not waiting, i knew which i had to be.
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She was looking into my eyes with that way she had of looking that made you wonder whether she really saw out of her own eyes. they would look on and on after every one else's eyes in the world would have stopped looking. she looked as though there were nothing on earth she would not look at like that, and really she was afraid of so many things.
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Oh god, are there so many of them in our land! students who can’t be happy until they’ve graduated, servicemen who can’t be happy until they are discharged, single folks who can’t be happy until they’ve found a mate, workers who can’t be happy until they’ve retired, adolescents who aren’t happy until they’re grown, ill people who aren’t happy until they’re well, failures who aren’t happy until they succeed, restless who can’t wait until they get out of town, and in most cases, vice versa, people waiting, waiting for the world to begin.
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